Mama Won’t Fly Cast Breakdown
2m – 6w (Actors need to be able to play the ages, not necessarily be the ages.)
Male 1 — plays 6 characters — ages range from 50’s to 70’s
Male 2 — plays 4 characters — ages range from 40’s to 70’s
Female 1 — Mama — 70’s; spirited and tenacious
Female 2— Savannah— 40’s; feisty Southern business woman
Female 3 — Hayley — 40’s (or younger) lovable, high-energy, nervous
Female 4 — 40’s to 50’s — realtor, country matron, Church lady, and bimbo
Female 5 — 40’s to 90’s — tour guide, wheelchair bound ninety year old, Church lady, and suburban wife
Female 6 — 50’s to 60’s — gold digger, little theatre costume, tough as nails ex-show girl
Mama Won’t Fly Male Audition Material:
Read each of the following with as much variety and characterization as you can.)
Uncle Fred (70’s, oddball and a dancing fool, riveted on Savannah’s dress.) Ooh—wee! Looka that purdy dress! I’m ‘ona take you over by that band and dance your wheels off, girlie!
Mickey (40’s, effusive, wearing a leprechaun hat, speaks with Irish brogue.) Faith and begorrah! Welcome to O’Shaughnessy’s Pub. ’Tis a fine Irish bar ye’ve walked into, lassie! Is it a pint I can be drawing ye? ’Tis at your service I am!
Mitch (40-50’s, rugged, gregarious, all cowboy charm.) Howdy, little ladies. Welcome to Lonesome Road Saloon! Hey, y’all hear about the two cows talkin’ to each other? One says, “I was artificially inseminated this morning.” The other says, “I don’t believe you.” First one says, “It’s true! No bull!” (Cracks himself up.) Now, what can I get you fillies?
Officer Dugger (50’60’s, highway patrol officer. He has stopped a car loaded with three women, one dressed like a nun.) Morning, Sister, I’m Officer Dugger. Welcome to New Mexico. I need all of you to get out of the car, please. Now, you weren’t speeding. But the car you and your party girls wedged yourselves into was used in a hold-up yesterday. And I’m just sayin’ three women dressed in unusual attire could provide a good distraction for a robbery. Now, I don’t know what’s going on here, but I’m fairly certain you’re all guilty of something. Maybe you can get your story straight in the comfort of the county jail.
Denton (70’s, a jovial Southern man dressed in khakis and a work shirt.) Hey, Norleen! You decent? I’m just returning Norleen’s car. Next month I’m retiring! But in spite of your embarrassing revelations, it was nice to meet you. Okay, Norleen, your car’s oiled, lubed and read to roll. And there are speed traps outside Meridian, so keep an eye out.
Mama Won’t Fly Females Audition Material:
(Read each of following pieces with as much variety and characterization as you can.)
Savannah (40’s, a feisty Southern business woman. On the phone.) Why, hey, baby brother…Yes, I’ve got it all under control…Now, Walker, you’ve got to relax and stop acting like yours is the first wedding since mankind came down from the trees! But why you want to get married in California still beats me. It’s just a bunch of doped-up celebrities running naked in the streets.
Norleen (Mama, 70’s, a spirited, tenacious woman. She berates her daughter.) Well, I only wanted to take this last trip with my daughter so we could spend some time together, but I’ve taken all the blame-laying’ from you I care to. And if you keep saying the problems in your life are my fault, you’re gonna have a hard road to hoe once I’m gone, baby girl! So until you come to your senses, I’d as soon not hear any more of this chin music. And I mean it!
Hayley, (Bride to be, 30-40’s, lovable, high-energy, nervous. She describes her misfortune.) I…I barely touched the back of the driver’s seat but it pushed forward and squashed his foot against the gas pedal, and the cab crashed into the water hydrant that’s still gushing and—the fired department’s taking care of everything although they did ask me to leave, so I walked the rest of the way, and, uh…Surprise! My gosh look at you. It’s so great to see you!
Essie (80’s, Foundation Garment museum tour guide. Welcomes visitors with a slide show.) Now, ya’ll sit down and we’ll start off with our special slide show presentation: Brassieres Through the Years. Now, brassiere fashion in U. S. began in 1914 when the first patented bra looked much like the one I’m modeling now. But…Greek women wore bras thousands of years ago. Pitiful get-ups, weren’t they?
Teeta (50-60’s, all-business, tough-as-leather ex-showgirl. Runs wedding chapel in Vegas.) Okay, love birds. I’m Teeta, the only ordained showgirl minister in Las Vegas. I partied all night at the NASCAR Convention and have a head on me that would bring a lumberjack to his knees, so here’s how it’s gonna go down. You can have the basic package for forth bucks, or the deluxe for sixty.
Ardale (50’s, a Bible-toting golddigger. She’s at a picnic and welcomes Noreen.) (Calls off stage) Rema Jean! Quit flip-taling around that dance floor like some kind of harlot and bring me that spoon bread! I’m starving to death over here. (Spots Noreen) Praise be! Hallelujah! Our precious Norleen’s came home! Bless your heart, you don’t look a’tall well. Let me counsel unto you about that which will happen to your earthly estate when the heavenly angels sound their clarion call.
An outrageously hilarious race against the clock begins when Savannah Sprunt Fairchild Honeycutt agrees to get her feisty mother all the way from Alabama to California in time for her brother’s wedding. Savannah’s problem: Mama won’t fly. With only four days to make it to the ceremony, this determined daughter has no choice but to drive cross-country with her equally willful mother, Norleen Sprunt, in Mama’s vintage sedan. As Savannah steels herself for this hastily conceived road trip, another outrageous complication arises: the bubbly, over-eager bride-to-be arrives unannounced. Hayley Quinn, delighted to finally meet her future in-laws, is convinced that travelling together to her wedding is the perfect way to bond. The folly of her decision quickly becomes apparent when the journey begins and comedic chaos ensues.
Every conceivable—and inconceivable—mishap that can occur does, including the theft of their car and all their clothes, a near-fatal encounter at an underwear museum, the accidental homicide of an ancient Texas relative, a mad dash across the desert in a hijacked eighteenwheeler and a riotous detour to Vegas that ends in a brawl with an ordained showgirl/minister. As the misadventures multiply, the beleaguered trio rapidly develops the urge to ditch each other anywhere along the way. Eventually the race to get to the church on time takes its toll and the overwhelmed bride calls off the wedding. Rising above their age-old mother-daughter issues, Norleen and Savannah work together to get the nuptials back on track. In a surprising and heartwarming resolution, they forge an exciting new path for their own relationship and welcome Hayley into their delightfully wacky family. This ferociously funny, family-friendly Jones-Hope-Wooten comedy will have you laughing your way across the country and all the way down the aisle!